“Today, we will finally leave this world and venture into whatever may lay past the skies and stars!” The man raised his hands above his head.

The crowd erupted with chants and yells, for they were about to make the biggest scientific jump anyone on the planet Trewk had ever imagined. The small sun was high in the sand colored sky and the air blew perfectly. Not too fast and cold, or too slow and hot, just a gentle breeze just barely blowing the branches on the trees.

For eleven years, scientists on Trewk have been trying to develop a plane that could pass through the atmosphere and into space. They didn’t know what they should be looking for, or if there was even anything there, all they knew was that Trewk was not surrounded by glass, and things could leave it.

The people of Trewk were humans, not from the planet Earth though. They had evolved just like humans on Earth did, but not the same way.

It evolved from bacteria that grew in water that found it’s way onto the surface of the rock. It was just a small, legless speck of life that made it’s own food through photosynthesis. Eventually, it evolved again. This ungodly creature was even more appetizing than the single celled organism came before it was.

What happened was, the organisms that came first stuck onto each other and continued there a sexual reproduction. Because they were so close together, they just formed a clump. Eventually, they formed an ugly, deformed, green, dog faced creature with four arms. Since these cells were all the same, they could change into any kind of cell they wanted to, which gave this hideous animal some restricted shape shifting powers. It couldn’t become anything, but it could turn into a lovely pile of slush.

Rarely, they were able to get back to their original form from there lovely pile of sludge. But the ones that did evolved again. The organisms got smarter and developed a sense of importance and turned into the kind of cells that were mandatory. However, they still maintained their plant like qualities: photosynthesis, a sexual reproduction, there chlorophyll tinted skin, and there lovely flavoring in pasta sauce.

Now they looked more like monkeys, but taller and green. But, during the whole reproduction thing, they weren’t so glamorous. It looked almost as if they were growing an evil head, or their angry Siamese twin was climbing out of there spines. After many millions of years of evolution, they turned into humans. But not nearly the type of humans on Earth, they still had green skin and made there own food through photosynthesis. And sadly, these poor humans must…….reproduce alone.

Despite their horrible sexual handicap, they thrived and lived. They made up a language, a government, little sticks that made ink come out so you can write things down, even pudding cups. Never did it occur to them about a currency system, they just got what they needed from who or where they needed it from, and made more technological advanced than Earth made in the 1900’s in 4 years. But Earth had a huge head start.

The man on the podium continued talking:

“Now, I will introduce the brave souls that are leaving Trewk: Krok Yudjher-”

The crowd screamed.

“Fwern Serea-”

The crowd continued to scream.

“Wera Portost-”

The crowd screamed louder.

“And Vanessa Cincotta!”

There had been extreme controversy about Vanessa going into space. First of all, she was a girl. And eleventh of all, she had the strangest name anyone on Trewk had ever heard of. There had been protests by hippies and lawyers and hairdressers and auto mechanics favoring both sides of the argument. Nonetheless, they screamed for her.

“Now for the man who helped make this possible, Dr. Yertez Porgid!”

A perfectly shaped man who looked more like a super model than a scientist came out to the podium.

“Friends, kangaroos and countrymen, Lend me your ears!”

The female crowd cheered for the brainy hunk even though they didn’t remember his name. Most of the male crowd was jealous, but there is always those few men...

“Even since I was a child, I dreamed of doing something great for this planet. I didn’t know what it would be, but I had nightmares about it every night! And finally, my dreams have come true! But these dreams didn’t just happen, I needed to work as hard as I could. I paid attention in school, I did research on my own, I stopped beating my friends with golf clubs. What I’m trying to say is, sometimes you need to sacrifice something for the good of others. Sometimes, you need to give something up, to gain something else. Sometimes, even if people are against you, you need to do it anyway. Because you believe it is right.”

The crowd had stopped cheering in the first quarter of his speech. Not only had they lost interest, but they had no idea what he was talking about. Dr. Yertez Porgid continued talking as the wind suddenly picked up.

“When I was young, I made a fort out of pillows and mattresses and nine inch nails. I was told not to do this because it would be ugly and turn away neighbors. But I believed so strongly I should build it and I did against my mothers will. And I was beaten, Beaten until I leaked water out of every pore of my body. But it was worth it, and this my people is worth it too.”

A nearby security guard started to get nervous. There was something wrong with this speech, something wasn’t right. He called on his radio:

“Hey Trell, get your unit up here. I think something is up.” He whispered into the radio.

“Yeah sure Waddle, want me to paint your house too?” Said Trell in an exasperated voice.

Waddle called back. “Watch it Trell, I’ll have your green ass fired if you talk out of turn again.”

“It doesn’t matter now. We’re already ‘fired.’ I’m finally telling you what I think about you, I hate you! You’re always bossing me around, you never liked me, you never told me when it was wacky tie day!” Trell began to cry.

Waddle interrupted him. “Watch your mouth officer! I’ll give you a hiding!”

Trell continued. “You won’t even stop to listen to me! The entire planet is about to be destroyed and you don’t care!”

“What the hell are you talking about?” said Waddle realizing how loudly he had threatened Trell. He gave a nervous wave to the staring people.

“He’s going to incinerate us all! As soon as he gets on that rocket 25 ka-jillion pounds of air sealed napalm is going to pour out the bottom. That ship has no engine! It’s just an over sized Glad bag! The napalm will propel it into space and he’s going to float there. He’s insane Waddle! I’m going out before I get involved any more than I already am!”

There was a gunshot over the radio, then a yell, a thud, and a religious converter man angrily yelling through the door.

Waddle stood in shock. He had never heard anything so horrible in his life, nothing so confusingly terrible that he could barely choke out a reply. He lifted his trembling hand to his mouth and said into the radio.

“W....w...what the hell is...is...is a...a glad bag?” He got no response.

He turned swiftly towards Dr. Yertez Porgid. Yertez continued to speak.

“I am leaving you all now, along with these brave citizens to explore the future ahead of us. Good-Bye” He opened the door to the rocket and the explorers and the doctor walked in. The crowd screamed.

Waddle, seeing this, ran shouting towards the ship.

"Don’t!"

He jumped at the door and 25 ka-jillion gallons of  napalm poured down upon the screaming crowd, now screaming for an entirely different reason.