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Lo' visiter! If you are at this website, you either have nothing butter to do or are beong forced to view it by ecological terrorists. Okay, lot's o' things being done this week. I've had to say good bye to the cheese list :'( But you can still find it on cheese.com. I also had to remove the 50 fun things to do at a mall :'(. But just run a google search. Why did i remove these things? Well, I'm starting to write an totally pointless yet slightly entertaining story-maybe even what may become a novel-on the Awesome Things page. I'll set up a poll and you can decide if I should remove my ongoing story, or if I should bring back to the lists.
Darth Vader's Oscar Acceptance Speech:
Ever since I was a boy on Tatooine, I never knew how to spell the name of my planet. But I also dreamed about winning this award. Nothing in the force could ever match up to how I feel about winning this small, C3P0 resembling token of supreme power. Not when I won Ms. America for my costume, not when I got a Tony award for my work in "Fiddler on the Roof," not even winning a silver medal for figure skating with Brian Boitano and Michelle Kwan.
I would like to thank my mother, who I haven't seen since I was nine. Thanks for being there mom, thanks for all the fricken' birthday cards and the phone calls! Oh wait, there wern't any! Your worse than all of my dead-beat dads! Anyway, I'd like to thank Obi Won, and Qui Gon Gin, I have trouble spelling their names too. But thank you for stealing me away from my happy life as a junkyard slave and forcing me into the psycological trauma of being stolen from my mother. Which led to my predictable crossing into the dark side. I'd like to thank The Home Depot, for all the supplies they gave me for The Death Star. And Geico auto insurance for covering all my space ships and AT-ST's. I saved an average of 250 bucks.
I would also like to mention the significance of Oprah in my Michael Jackson like corruption of a life. In dark times, which never seemed to end, I would always turn to her show at 4 o'clock. It would make me forget about all my problems, atleast for an hour. Even though she refused all of requests to guest star, she was the african-american light, at the end of my long tunnel of evil.
I want all of you to listen to me, I am going to tell you the key of life. The key of life, is to train. Trains are not only loud and primitive metal dragons, but they make funny sounds. But there is another type of trains, and that is to work hard. When you work hard while training, you hear a little voice in your head saying: "I'm tired, stop my lungs are going to pop. You f***ing arm is on the ground stop fighting and give up!" If you can learn to defeat that little voice, whether you use a light saber, or your Jedi powers, or the bodies of your slaughtered soldiers, you can learn to over come obstacles in your life. I am pretending to not have stolen the idea this paragraph from Will Smith during the Kid's Choice Awards.
I now have a message for the youth of where ever I am. I am always recruiting. "I want you!"
I do very much accept this prize, and I thank everyone who voted for me. And for the other nominees, Batman, Indianna Jones, Honey Nut Cherios Bee, don't think of it as losing an award, but more as....gaining a god. Thank you, and good night. As soon as I leave, I am ordering my storm troopers to destroy your planet. Good Bacon.
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Cheeses, I finally found an alphabetical list of every cheese in the world!
Sorry, I had to move the cheese list. It's now on the awesome list of awesome things page. |
A da quote of a da second: "If it wasn't for stunt doubles, most of Hollywood's most famous actors...would be dead." -AFV
The Knight and the Prophet
-Arcaus Link
To a prophet a knight once went,
The knight was neither ordered-nor sent,
He went by will to hear many an event,
That would occur later in his life.
The prophet leaned and took a look,
Then he searched every hole and nook,
Of the soul that had not been took,
The knight was pure and true.
“To you I will tell some clues,
That a wiser mind would certainly use,
To discover if you win or lose,
The pieces are on the table.
You will have power none other posses,
But beware-it would be bad to obsess,
Although if you do you will not have less,
Your power you will be maintained.”
The knight leaned back and closed his eyes,
His excited heart was on the rise,
But first he would need supplies,
To start his life of conquest.
He bought a weapon that could crush,
But not in any sort of rush,
But power would explode in a single brush,
His axe was strong and large.
He bought himself armor that left the gods in awe,
It was the most beautiful armor people have ever saw,
But inside his soul had begun to gnaw,
He had taken a step to obsession.
But being a knight was not enough,
He began to grow sour and gruff,
He started to organize his stuff,
Soon he would be king.
He told the king they needed to speak,
The king was growing old and weak,
Little did he know his future was bleak,
In fact there wasn’t one at all.
He entered the chamber full of wine and bread,
There were pictures carved by blocks of lead,
He knew the king would soon be dead,
But the king had no idea.
The king invited him to have a seat,
Between their eyes were three small feet,
But the knight did not return the greet,
He slowly drew his axe.
The king’s mouth opened wide,
His fear he did not try to hide,
The knight chopped him until he died,
He had just “inherited” the thrown.
After many years of law and tax,
He refused to sit back and relax,
He turned in content to his shining axe,
He wanted to be a god.
His axe was looking mighty nice,
So he climbed the holy mountain of ice,
His tongue was flavored with ignorant spice,
He was really obsessing.
He finally came to the snowy top,
And there sat God on his magic crop,
He ordered the knight to cease and stop,
The knight did with respect.
“Why do you come?” Said God in a bellowing voice,
The kingt replied in equal tone: “You have to make a choice”
“I am God, I will not here you pitiful little noise,”
God turned his head away.
The king was now burning with rage,
God gloated up on his magic stage,
He wanted to slay the evil mage,
But God saw it coming.
He raised his hand and threw the king,
Then God did an amazing thing,
He flew away on a crimson wing,
Leaving th king to bleed.
The king swore to get revenge,
His very soul a would avenge,
He suddenly had a twitch and cringe,
He had gone insane.
He climbed back down to the ground,
To his axe he glumy frowned,
The very mext moment he turned around,
And he yelled to God in anger.
“I will not again be mocked,
Away your soul and throne will be locked,
We could have just sat and talked,
But an enemy you have made!”
For many months the king fought to train,
He ignored the sores and searing pain,
Then he set out in the rain,
Back to the mountain of ice.
When God saw the king coming near,
He turned and grabbed his crystal spear,
“Leave your pride and get out of here!”
God shouted in anger.
“No not this time Holy Ghost,
You’re the one I loath the most,
But now let me propose a toast,
To the coming of a new lord.”
The king threw his axe with speed,
God warned him but he did not heed,
But there wasn’t really any need,
The axe was far too heavy.
The axe hit the ground before it hit,
God snarled and gave a spit,
He raised his spear and the tip lit,
In a flame of yellow fuzz.
But the king had a trick up his sleeve,
One God couldn’t believe,
Although his axe he couldn’t retrieve,
He held a shield of glass.
The fuzz barely bumped the king,
He grabbed his axe and with a fling,
The axe hit God and with a ring,
He imploded in a purple light.
But after years of being strong,
Something went terribly wrong,
He was poisoned by one who didn’t belong,
By his very own hand.
To a prophet a knight once went,
The knight was neither ordered-nor sent,
He went by will to hear many an event,
That would occur later in his life.
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Polls
new poll.....Isn't that nice?
A da a song ub da for to being time
The Safety Dance S-s-s-s A-a-a-a F-f-f-f E-e-e-e T-t-t-t Y-y-y-y
Safe, dance!
[Spoken]
We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to
A place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind
And we can dance
[Sung]
We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to
A place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind
And we can dance
Danc¨¦e!
We can go when we want to
The night is young and so am I
And we can dress real neat from our hats to our feet
And surprise 'em with the victory cry
Say, we can act if want to
If we don't nobody will
And you can act real rude and totally removed
And I can act like an imbecile
[Refrain]
I say, we can dance, we can dance
Everything out of control
We can dance, we can dance
We're doing it from wall to wall
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody look at your hands
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody takin' the cha-a-a-ance
Safety dance
Is it safe to dance
Is it safe to dance
S-s-s-s A-a-a-a F-f-f-f E-e-e-e T-t-t-t Y-y-y-y
Safe, dance!
We can dance if we want to
We've got all your life and mine
As long as we abuse it, never gonna lose it
Everything'll work out right
I say, we can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're no friends of mine
[Refrain]
Is it safe to dance, oh is it safe to dance [6x]
Is it safe to dance |
Flabbergastation
Adding captions makes my pictures more interesting.
My friends site who is also on the interweb |
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